December 23, 2013
Bremer, associate publisher of the Sun, explores the points of connectionâand potential conflictâin her marriage to Libyan-born Ismail. Bremer, a surfing aficionado, feminist, avid traveler, and aspiring journalist, was not looking for a commitment when she began dating the older Ismail and shortly thereafter became unexpectedly pregnant. Her eventual surrender to a different kind of imagined future forms one of the memoir's central themes, as does the couple's evolving conversations on such issues as circumcising their son and encouraging their daughter's desire to wear the Muslim headscarf to school. One extended section recounts the couple's first visit to Libya, a trip during which Bremer addresses the political realities of Ismail's home country and finds herself alienated from and unexpectedly drawn to Ismail's family, so unlike her own white suburban American one. The memoir does not, however, offer similar insights into Ismail's (assumed) interactions with Bremer's extended familyâsuch a focus could have offered rich potential for critical examination of and revelations about Bremer's own upbringing rather than merely the exotic otherness represented by Ismail's clan. Nevertheless, Bremer's particular story strikingly highlights the (usually more mundane) cultural clashes and compromises inherent to every marriage or long-term relationship.
September 1, 2014
When Bremer, (associate publisher, The Sun) became pregnant after a short relationship with Ismail, a Libyan man 15 years her senior, she considered abortion but decided instead to marry him and raise the baby together. This book chronicles their cross-cultural marriage over the last 15 years and provides insight on how a couple from such different backgrounds can raise two children in a lasting and loving marriage. Especially noteworthy in these days of Islamophobia is her focus on Ismail's gentleness and kindness, qualities that, she believes, spring from his Muslim faith. While Bremer did not convert to Islam herself, she finds much about it appealing and questions the materialism so prevalent in the United States. She points out the challenges of living with someone who fasts for Ramadan, treating the subject with warmth and humor, especially Ismail's bad breath. Ze Sands captures the characters' personalities through her excellent narration. VERDICT Recommended for memoir enthusiasts wanting a feel-good love story. ["Readers of memoir will welcome this love story about patience and kindness and learning the importance of putting culture first," read the review of the Algonquin hc, LJ 2/1/14.]--Nancy R. Ives, SUNY Geneseo
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